The Subtler Parasite.


You’re driving down the road and someone flips you off.
You’re walking down the street and someone yells a negative comment at you.
You’re talking to someone and they unexpectedly blurt out that they hate their life.

These are what I would consider a gross*-parasite.

One of the worst things one can fail to achieve in life is not gaining the ability to realize how far-reaching our own actions are, such that we can negatively affect those around us…

Gross-parasites are easy to spot and even easier to deal with. They can be handled by being ignored, smiled at, or even being shown some tender loving care. No, gross-parasites are not the real issue, here. The real issue lies with those who do not believe that they are acting in a parasitic way — simply because their mind is not sentient (or self-reflecting) enough to register any sort of negativity because that negativity is so subtle.

In each of the above scenarios, the response to their own actions can be so evident that the issuer of the negative expression can begin to feel an increased sense of elevation with regards to respiration, adrenaline and perspiration. All obvious and evident symptoms of having succumb to their own gross-parasite.

However, despite this, the worse parasite to behold is the subtle-parasite.

What is a subtle-parasite? Someone who acts or reacts in a suggestive manner, alluding to a deeper anguish held within. As the receiver, it can be experienced as a backhanded complement or statement with just the right amount of jealous, irritation or confrontation.

“Nice sweater…”
“That’s cute…”

What has taken over amidst these three responses is not the more obvious, gross-parasite (of which, receivers can deal with in a more overt and expected way), but a more discrete, subtle-parasite. Why is the subtle-parasite so much more difficult to deal with? Because the likelihood of confronting these types of people and having them realize their own fault is much more unlikely; ultimately resulting in you just having to walk away.

Does the person even know that they’re being parasitic?
Do they even think that there is an issue?
Will they just simply blame you for pointing it out?

The difficulty with the more subtle-parasite over the gross-parasite is that the one being controlled by the subtle-parasite will often times not even know that they are being controlled; opting more in favour for their mind that the real issue lies with the one "bringing it up".

“Hey man, you’re being kind of a jerk.”
“Why are you so sensitive?”

“I didn’t really like that."
“What are you talking about?”

You see, the greatest trick the mind ever played was making you think it didn't exist. The same goes for the devil.

The problem is that the mind does exist, and if you do not reflect on its inner workings on a daily (if not moment-by-moment; though that does take immense practice) basis, you will oftentimes become lost in your own confusion, such that perhaps it IS you with the parasite on hand as you toss around your questionable comments.

Unequivocally, this is why meditation is so important. It allows you the opportunity to observe and reflect; alone and with yourself. “Am I being a jerk?” Well, if you’re not engaging in some activity to make yourself better or more sentient each day, so much so that you have time to focus on other people’s shortcomings, then — probably. When you’re solely focused on something you love; so busy that you don’t even take the time to think about other people’s drawbacks; then you have no room for the parasite of mind’s negative attachment to grow.

Thus, to safeguard yourself against such folly, make more time to reflect, make more time to objectively observe yourself, and spend the majority of your time doing something you love. If not, you run the risk of being a carrier — even if you didn't think you would.

So, the next time you are about to say something to engage with another person, ask yourself:

Does this person I am about to “out” have the real problem, or is it me?
Does this even need to be said?
Why do I want to say this in the first place?

Observing intention is the key to our understanding. But in order to observe our intention objectively (clearly), it takes time and it takes patience. Something the mind often tells us we don't have. And that is just the mind acting on itself. The subtlest parasite of all.

Think about it.