Wanting What You Cannot Have Is The Root Of All Suffering.

If you’re a traditional spiritualist, you’ll have surely heard the adage “attachment is the root of all suffering.” Coined by the Buddha, the essence of this idea is that if you can remove all attachment from your life, you can remove all suffering as well. Albeit, quite extreme in its approach, there is actually a much more grounded way of approaching the elimination of all suffering through a contemporary lens.

Is attachment actually bad?

Being attached to your spouse, your dog, your friends, your family, your job, your house, etc. are all actually really positive and healthy things. Imagine being detached to everything: the world would quickly lose its order and slowly degrade into forgotten homes, abandoned families, and unkept landscapes.

Practically speaking, attachment actually motivates you to keep order in tow; to continue building upon things; and to preserve what it is that you have. The problem arises when you want for something you cannot have and are unable to accept the base reality of not being able to have it.

Think about your dog for example — you are highly attached to having them around. You love them, you dote on them, you spend time with them, you genuinely enjoy their company; all really positive and healthy things. Now, what happens when they pass away? Suffering naturally sets in.

In order to alleviate all suffering from the get-go, would it have been better to not be attached to them at all? Truly, the real beauties in life are all found through attachment. So, rather than detach from all things at the onset, simply accept that this is a time and that all time eventually passes.

I get it — you want them to stay around forever. You want them to be in your life until it’s your time to go. You want them to comfort and sit with you till infinity. The problem is, what you want is an unrealistic expectation. Dogs naturally have a shorter life span than humans, and it’s on you to understand and accept this reality so that you do not want that which you cannot have.

You can actually run this protocol with everything else in your life as well. Start by analyzing what it is that you want; assess the viability of you actually having it; and then accept that reality. It’s really quite simple; and yet, the simplest things are often the hardest things to do.

Approaching life in this way, you’re afforded an optimal balance between appreciating and experiencing all that life has to offer, while simultaneously safeguarding your psyche by grounding it in reality.

In sum: no, attachment isn’t bad — it’s what beautifies our world — rather, it’s our untamed desires that run amuck and leave us wanting more; chasing water that can never truly quench our thirst.

-happy imbibing.