Don’t Neglect The Shadow Self, Or The Shadow Self Will Consume You.

Oftentimes, especially in spiritual circles, you hear trite one-liners like “good vibes only” or “just stay positive.” While these are extremely important aphorisms, they completely neglect the negative nature of reality.

The totality of life holds within it both good and bad; yin and yang; positive and negative; light and dark. However, when approaching spirituality through the more traditional (dare I say, “commercial” or “Western”) method, this level of idealism eventually results in the negative taking over the positive.

How come? Suppression.

The more we try to run from something, the deeper (because you’re literally burying it) ingrained it becomes. Though the severity of the negativity may appear to have been turned down in the moment, just like a dam, you can only hold back so much water for so long. Eventually, the dam will break and/or cracks will begin to emerge.

Why did I suddenly yell at that person in traffic?
Why did I push someone just for saying something to me?
Why do I always feel slightly angry all the time?

Suppression of the dark.

The solution? Bring light to the dark.

Now, when I say light, I don’t mean saying “good vibes only” or meditating the problem away. In fact, despite “no mind, no problem” being a good tactic (or band-aid for the time being), that is actually just more suppression of the dark.

When I say bring light to the dark, I mean naming the dark. Essentially, identifying what it is that you are too afraid to look at. Is it fear? Is it pain? Is it uncertainty? Is it weakness? Is it being ashamed? Is it loneliness? Is it self pity? Is it being blindsided?

Once one is able to name the darkness, they are then able to work towards acceptance, understanding, appreciation and (ultimately) ride the wave of darkness. When we know what it is we are riding, we can readily take our surf board and carve the wave.

The thing is, waves come in all shapes and sizes. One’s darkness may be bigger than another’s and vice versa. So, how can you manage bigger and bigger levels of darkness?

You train.

Just like everything in life, the more you practice something, the better you get at it.

Personally, this is why I like doing things like jiujitsu and rock climbing — both very simple, but exacting exercises for facing the dark and learning how to keep pushing forward. Bigger opponent smashing you? Good. You can then face your feelings of inadequacy and learn to find calm in the storm. Boulder problem too difficult for you? Good. You have something to work towards while mentally fighting against the fear of being watched as you fail in your attempts.

Granted, there are many ways to train the shadow self and learn how to make it a companion, not a foe. Even something as simplistic as learning how to face your fears in a calm demeanour is another rep in your training.

I’m actually quite afraid of the dentist and doctor — but learning how to endure during these moments and ride the wave of fear while still getting the job done is just another training rep to help me learn how to partner with the dark and not have it rule over me.

Holistically speaking, the real key to true spiritual growth isn’t found in running away or hiding from the dark, it’s about running toward it with a light and learning how to use it like a mech suit; becoming the pilot, not the passenger in your life. When you learn how to start doing this and make it a more common and conscious practice, eventually no matter what life throws at you, you’ll know how to manage it alongside your hidden friend — your ally — who will help to get you through even the darkest of times: the darkness itself.

Remember, Capacity is directly proportional to your Presence under Load. C ∝ P × L

-stare deep into the void and don’t blink.